Lulu AKA Elivia

 Since I didn't keep my blog updated through the first year of  Elivia's life here are some random pics that I love

Daddy is starting them early.

Chill'n at the pool. Look at those arms compliments of the Michelin Man.

          T he super cute Pebbles T-shirt that my cousin bought for her.

          CHEESE!!!

mmmmm, food. My favorite time of day.

 

This hog Byron picked up at the dump. Can you believe someone would leave this there!!!! It looks brand new and works great too! All we had to do was charge it.

This was the day that Elivia figured out how to get into the sitting position in her crib.

She's brilliant

Elivia was really sick in this picture. The poor thing looks like she is trying to put

a good face on for the camera



Temper tantrums are starting early with this one.

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Then

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MOOD SWING

Such a sweet little cupcake when she wants to be.

Happy Halloween

Splish Splash I was taking a bath



All Done.

Sh*ts about to get weird.

I have had this overwhelming feeling that I need to pierce or tattoo something on my body. I was thinking this the other day as my heart felt like it was going to pop any moment from the anxiety that I get when my mind starts to run. I have never had a desire to do things that may draw attention to myself but in light of the current situations I am dealing with and seem to have no control over, I feel it may release some pressure. Why do I feel I should deal with it this way? I have no idea but somehow a nice nose ring or skull and cross bones on my butt just seems to fit the way I am feeling at this moment.

...my mouth went numb

Its been seven years I thought, seven years how could this happen again. I am not ready for this to happen again. The sadness started to seep in as I realized what I was just told, my moms cancer is back and this time its in her bones.
Spring of '04 was when it first started. My mom had a lump in her breast and after what seemed like a century we found out it was indeed cancerous. The frightening "C" word every person dreads and now its attached its self to one of my family members. One of my most important family members, my mom. Now, as bad as the "C" word is there is something worse then that, as I will come to understand, and that is the waiting. Waiting is torcher. Wait for this test, wait for that test, wait for the surgery, wait for the test to come back from the surgery, wait to see if it has spread. Wait to see how far its spread, wait to see how the treatment will be, wait for the hair to fall out, wait to see if this time she will feel better, wait to see how the next treatment takes, wait to see if the skin will heal. Wait to see if she gets her energy back, wait to see how the next set of test turn out. As I said the waiting is the hardest. Three months, six months, one year, two years.....time went by and the waiting turned into just another day, month, year. Finally 5 years the day that most cancer survivors live for, the five year remission mark. We celebrated, even threw her a big surprise party, she had made it 5 years we were so excited but the funny thing about breast cancer is there is no remission.
Yep, no remission for breast cancer. You could go 3, 5, 8, 25 years and never show any signs that this devil could be hiding in your body just waiting to reappear. So we are still left waiting, waiting for the time when the devil returns and takes another chance to claim her life.
Unfortunately, my day for the wait to end was a few weeks ago when I got "the call". My mom had some pain in her hip for a few months and I was just sure that is was the horrible office chair that she was sitting on at home while she was working. We had a gone on a family trip up to the mountain house, as Addison calls it, and my mom ended up laying in bed crouching in pain. It was so bad she could barley stand. So off to the E.R. they went at 10 p.m. Saturday night where she had more tests and some pain pills and sent home. I didn't give it a second thought I knew she would be fine. It was Tuesday and a work day for me so I was happily working away talking to a client, my phone rang, it was my mom. "They think the cancer is back", she says, "and this time they think its in my bones". My mouth went numb....